Relationships and love life for INFP (Mediator = Psychologist type)

INFP (Psychologist type)This article explains relationships and romantic relationships.

The following is a quote (with some modifications) from "Let's Look at the World from the Perspective of MBTI Personality Type Theory" (website no longer exists).

About relationships for INFPs 

As an introverted feeling (Fi) type, they are very sincere and try to accept others with compassion.

At first, they might seem somewhat distant and reserved. They might appear calm and formal, and perhaps even a little nervous or overly concerned with many things.

They tend to be reserved and keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves. They are unlikely to be sociable and expand their social circle.

If you're with people you know well, you can relax and enjoy yourself, but it takes time to get to that point.

When I see someone in trouble, I feel a strong sense of sympathy and want to help. Even if I can't do anything concrete to help, I might listen to them, encourage them, and try to be a source of emotional support.

However, they don't show much interest in people who aren't in need. They usually interact with others in a friendly and unbiased manner, but they can become cold and distant if they are dissatisfied.

Sometimes they speak in a gentle, conversational manner, and other times they try to convey the facts as they are, without letting their emotions get in the way.

Strong convictions can sometimes be expressed unilaterally, which may be admired or perceived as arrogant. This is because, even though good intentions are kept hidden within, they are often expressed in the style of extroverted thinking (Te). Please be aware of this unfortunate tendency.

Furthermore, caution is needed as they may wander into their world of imagination and lose touch with reality. Sometimes, their strange words and actions can confuse people.

They try to convey and share their strong emotions and excitement with others.

Like INFJs, they have a strong ability to perceive others, which can lead to them starting to overthink things, both true and false, and their thoughts may go nowhere.

Furthermore, like INFJs, they are willing to help those in need with dedication, but this can sometimes lead to excessive self-sacrifice. Moreover, because they don't express their strong empathy and altruistic feelings verbally, their motivations may even be misunderstood. Good friends and those around them need to be mindful of this and offer support.

About love for INFPs 

I seek a spiritual connection. I believe that looks, intelligence, and wealth are merely superficial factors. I'm generally indifferent to material things.

Because they try to see through a person's true character, their standards might be strict in that sense.

So, what kind of person meets these criteria? Surprisingly, they are the type who are carefree, somewhat reckless, and don't require any special consideration, but even if you meet them in childhood, you often don't realize it.

Even as children, INFPs' imaginations can sometimes lead them towards romance and marriage.

If you think about it, fairy tales for girls typically end with, "And they lived happily ever after."

However, being an introverted type, this introversion intensifies considerably during adolescence, leading to spending time alone watching romance comics, dramas, and reading romance novels.

As an introverted feeling (Fi) type, you will be very attached to things that move you or that you find cute. You will be very devoted to your romantic partner.

Although deep down she's quite a romantic, she's very guarded, so it's unlikely that she'll naturally end up in a romantic relationship.

Because I'm quite introverted, I tend to observe the situation and consider things from different angles rather than taking the initiative myself. Sometimes, I miss opportunities in the process.

As it is an IP-type device, its interaction with the outside world is rather weak.

However, simply being happy on your own or having a pleasant demeanor can attract the attention of others.

In the case of women, once they reach a certain age, they tend to choose tasteful clothes without being overly flashy, and dress stylishly, which can attract men's attention.

Women often imagine things like weddings, married life, and having and raising children.

Alternatively, they may genuinely want to help people who are in trouble or worried, and this kindness can be conveyed to the other person, sometimes leading to a romantic relationship before they even realize it.

However, if these things don't happen, time will pass by and you'll remain in a state of being a "lonely princess."

Because they have the strength of being able to process their own emotions, they often don't crave intimate connections with others. In fact, they might even prefer to be left alone and not have their alone time interrupted.

They are like independent, aloof cats.

Thus, the desire to truly accept others remains difficult to fulfill.

Even though they want attention and want to give attention, they can't honestly express their feelings and end up acting coldly, contrary to their true feelings. They are a very troublesome type.

At its core, it stems from the feeling that no one understands you. Sadly, you might even be unconsciously enjoying the situation of being overwhelmed by this despair.

Ultimately, they might be waiting for someone to actively capture their heart. However, they implicitly present a difficult dilemma to those around them: they won't accept anyone who comes on too strong.

So, what kind of person would be ideal? You can easily get along with someone who is cheerful, bright, free-spirited, and doesn't worry too much about other people's feelings. There's no need for restraint between you, and you feel a desire to be close to them and take care of them.You should express your feelings.

Alternatively, you might get along well with someone who is gentlemanly, honest, and skilled at opening people up.

If they are fortunate enough to find someone they can love, they will shower that person with excessive affection and cherish that bond deeply.

However, while you may be eager to give everything to your partner, you may not be used to receiving love, and you might feel guilty about receiving from them. You might even reject that opportunity. That, in itself, is unfair. To build a lasting relationship, you need to be open about yourself and genuinely appreciate what your partner gives you.

In life, it's important to maintain a balance between the amount of love you receive and the amount you give. There's actually a good reason for this, a crucial matter related to the very foundation of life itself, but it remains a secret for modern people. However, I'll discuss this in detail another time.

INFPs, through the collaboration of their introverted feeling (Fi) and extroverted intuition (Ne), can see through deception, but then, through the collaboration of their introverted feeling (Fi) and introverted sensing (Si), they may never be able to forgive.

INFPs have quite strict internal ethical codes, and it takes them a long time to forgive. That's precisely why finding the truth within themselves when they are able to forgive someone is one of the good qualities of an INFP.

Here's one thing.

Every saint has a past.
Every sinner has a future.

Apparently, these are the words of Oscar Wilde.

Now, getting back to the topic, when you get married, you cherish the bonds of family as something irreplaceable.

INFPs may have feminine traits in their youth, but as they mature, they become more grounded and masculine.

If you have a child, you will protect and raise them with all your might. This, too, is a result of your introverted feeling (Fi).

However, INFPs, along with INFJs, tend to have low levels of satisfaction with marriage. This might be because their insights into others easily turn into suspicion, or because they unconsciously expect something from others but fail to express it in words.

INFPs tend to speak about things that concern them as if they were someone else's problem. This stems from their somewhat passive attitude towards the outside world. However, they need to realize the undeniable fact that they themselves chose the people around them. Even now, they can change their future in any way they want, depending on how they take action.

Otherwise, you will be unable to adapt to married life and will remain lonely.

One reason why you might have trouble choosing someone you're compatible with is that your extroverted intuition makes you excited and want to challenge people who are quite different from you.

Another contributing factor may be a lack of broader social interaction.

There are bound to be quite a few ESTPs in a dual relationship, ISTJs in an activation relationship, and ENFJs in a mirror image relationship, so please take this as a reference. Finding ENFJ ENFPs might be a bit difficult.

End of quote from "Let's Look at the World from the Perspective of MBTI Personality Type Theory" (website no longer exists) (partially modified)

Advice for those dating an INFP

INFPs are kind and love to help others, so when they fall in love, they will go to great lengths for that person. Sometimes, depending on the person, this can even be self-destructive. INFPs have a strong desire to help others and tend to choose people with problems, such as those in debt or those who are abusive. To get an INFP interested in you, one approach might be to confide in them about your own worries and troubles.

If your partner is an INFP, keep in mind that you may have difficulty getting them to open up, they can be overly sensitive to criticism, and they may prioritize your happiness over their own.

Kind and helpful mediator types

However, you need to be careful, as some people could ruin your life. If you choose a partner yourself, you might end up with someone with debt, domestic violence, or other problems, so when looking for a partner, it's best to get an introduction from a trustworthy third party.