Relationships and love life for INTJ (Architect/Strategist type)

INTJ (Strategist type)This article explains relationships and romantic relationships.

The following is a quote (with some modifications) from "Let's Look at the World from the Perspective of MBTI Personality Type Theory" (website no longer exists).

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About INTJ relationships 

INTJs generally feel comfortable thinking and acting independently, but because they have clear goals, they consider relationships with people who can help them achieve those goals to be very important.

I would be happy to work with colleagues who are capable and have a similar level of understanding.

They will encourage rational thinking and will not hesitate to point out inconsistencies in illogical situations. They will prefer you to think and act to receive the results you deserve, rather than complaining.

Even INTJs, when relaxed, enjoy open information exchange. They will also offer solutions to problems faced by others.

They seem somewhat mature and independent, and may appear to not need others, so they might be difficult to approach at first.

Sometimes, when we try not to get emotional, we end up losing control and revealing our anger.

Even playful INTJs are interested in fashion, things with a nice atmosphere, and art. Furthermore, they may also be interested in physical fitness, swimming, marathon running, and other sports. Finding common ground with them shouldn't be too difficult.

In fields where IQ isn't everything, there's a lot to learn from others.

If you share common interests, you should be able to discuss in-depth knowledge and insights with each other.

If you befriend an INTJ, they might offer you some helpful advice.

About love for INTJs 

In romance, showing empathy, expressing warm emotions, and creating a romantic atmosphere are all necessary to get things going, but INTJs may not be very accustomed to doing that.

Even if you have a high opinion of someone, you often don't feel the need to express it verbally. Instead, you show your affection by protecting their safety and stability, or by solving practical problems. However, the other person needs to understand this.

The third psychological function, introverted feeling, is related to emotional harmony. Those who feel affection for it tend to be loyal and devoted, but because it is introverted, these strong feelings are usually kept within themselves.

This sometimes manifests as the workings of extroverted thinking, extroverted sensing, or their combined function.

Affection is shown through rational judgment without emotion, avoiding danger and ensuring safety, or through attentive observation or practical actions. However, it is rare for this to be recognized as love. Fortunately, there are those who can easily see through it.

Understand the sad reality that the other person may not be able to naturally express their affection with sweet and gentle words.

If you can share intellectual topics, you'll be able to maintain a particularly close relationship.

Alternatively, if you're someone who doesn't overthink things but expresses your emotions honestly, prioritizes the other person's feelings, and showers them with affection, then things will work out well.

There are bound to be quite a few ESFJs in a dual relationship, ISFPs in an active relationship, and ENTPs in a mirror image relationship, so please take this as a reference.

End of quote from "Let's Look at the World from the Perspective of MBTI Personality Type Theory" (website no longer exists) (partially modified)

Advice for those dating an INTJ

INTJs have difficulty forming close relationships, which can sometimes lead to complications in their romantic relationships. However, once they fall in love, they tend to be devoted and have eyes only for that person. When an INTJ starts a relationship, they will cherish their partner deeply. They may also have a strong preference for physical appearance, and many of their relationships begin with love at first sight.

If your partner is an INTJ, it's important to know that loyalty and understanding are crucial. Communication is also essential. Instead of expecting your INTJ to pick up on your subtle signals, try being direct and even blunt about what you expect. Keep in mind that INTJs tend to be highly analytical, and may try to investigate their partner in detail if things aren't going well in their relationship. However, if you feel they're going too far, try to reason with them.

For an INTJ, the end of a romantic relationship means...

Once a romantic relationship ends, you have to sever ties and cut ties with it in order to move on to new goals.

Generally speaking, people are expected to learn something from the fact that a relationship has just ended. However, INTJs may be unable to let go of the relationship deep down, even if it's not apparent from their outward behavior.

An INTJ who has suffered emotional pain is struggling and agonizing to understand the reasons behind the breakdown of their romantic relationship.